Monday, June 20, 2005

On Accomplishment

I don't know about other people, but I know that a good portion of my happiness depends very much on what I've accomplished. If I don't feel like I've accomplished enough I plummet into an awful, sticky depression. This is also tricky because even when I've accomplished something I tend to feel that what I've done isn't quite good enough and that is just as bad as not having done it at all. Likewise, if my accomplishment lacks tangible evidence of its existence it is the same as if I've accomplished nothing. This all means I'm very easily thrust into the throes of despair.

Why am I mentioning this? I am mentioning this because I can see clearly that I'm going to have to get something palpable done soon lest I'll be sucked into those murky depths of melancholia. I'm not saying I've not accomplished anything as of late... it's just that I haven't anything to show for what I've built. I need to be able to hand something to someone and say, "Look what I can do!".

That having been said: what I really want to do right now is take a nap... however, I think I'm going to do some reading so that I can say that I finished a book. Maybe I'll even write a bit about it. That will keep me from feeling like an utter failure!

2 comments:

Becker said...

I'm telling you, we need to plan a study hall and actually stick to it! Then, perhaps, you'll feel like you've done something.

suZqZ said...

Ok... we can do it... we can, I'm sure of it.