Friday, July 22, 2005

gah... pain... murp... bleck...

I have a headache this morning. I had it last night too and I kind of knew I'd still have it this morning. My friend and co-worker Steve gave me some Excedrin for tension headaches and, hopefully, it should kick in soon. Although, the tylenol I took last night didn't do anything at all. I hate this. My eyes feel like they're about to implode and my nose is running because it hurts so much. I keep trying to find cool things to put my throbbing head against. I can't concentrate. Misery. Misery. Misery.

Update: But wait... what's this??? I was temporarily distracted from this post and in that time the Excedrin took effect. I feel wonderful! I feel better than wonderful! I feel spectacular! Oh, what a great day! Yesss!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Gee, thanks Freud...

Over my lunch break I fell asleep and dreamt a strange dream. Now, if I'd never read anything that good ol' Siggy Freud said about dreams I would have woken up and thought, 'Wow, what a weird dream!' As it stands though, I woke up and realized that some things were, possibly, bothering me a bit more than my conscious mind has been letting on. My subconscious really couldn't have been more blatant about it.

Well, you know what my conscious mind has to say to my subconscious mind? "Quit being such a whiner. Good gods. You'll get over it."

And my conscious mind is right.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Birth Of A New Woman

Last night I finished reading Wifey by Judy Blume. The story takes place in suburban New York in 1970 and Sandy is tired of being a traditional, submissive wife. She married Norman and had two children mostly because she was expected to. She joined "The Club" and began taking tennis and golf lessons at her husband's insistence. She takes care of the cooking and gives Norm "a little something" on Saturday nights, but she is haunted by the feeling that there should be more to life.

During the course of the story Sandy is sexually awakened and ends up sleeping with her brother-in-law, her best friend's husband and an old flame. She believes that the old flame will leave his wife and marry her and is sorely disappointed when he suggests an arrangement rather than eternal love. Somewhere among this infidelity she contracts gonnorhea which precipitates a confrontation between her and her husband.

In the end Sandy is beginning to make assertive decisions and lines of communication are being opened between her and her husband. She is hopeful. I, however, am skeptical. I don't believe that Norman bringing home a pizza instead of expecting Sandy to cook the day after he hit her and called her a whore is really much of a step forward. Sandy offering to shave her pubic hair to make oral sex more pleasurable to her husband just doesn't seem like much to me. I didn't feel like things had been sufficiently resolved in the end of the book. Even though things seemed to be pointed in the right direction it just didn't seem to me that there was a good enough start.

This being said, I still enjoyed the book very much and was pleased to find that it made me think a bit about my own stances on marriage and monogamy.

Monday, July 11, 2005

It's A Lovely Day For Reading!

I was feeling a bit strange and depressive yesterday, but a quick trip to the bookstore fixed that. I bought two books(and some dessert), The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis and Wifey by Judy Blume.

The Magician's Nephew is a book I've been meaning to buy for awhile now. I've never read The Chronicles of Narnia and it's about time I started because there is a movie version coming in December of this year and it looks as though it may be quite good. I think I tried to read them when I was younger, but they never quite grabbed my attention. Given my unfailing interest and budding(well, maybe a bit more than budding) expertise in young adult literature the series is a must read for me.

Wifey is not at all like the Judy Blume books I read as a child. I do, however, recognize the same style of writing. Judy Blume does an excellent job of creating very unabashedly real characters and just like I related to the characters in Superfudge and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing as an elementary student I can also relate to her adult characters. I find the main character of Wifey having thoughts that I find familiar, but probably wouldn't openly acknowledge that I'd had them. I find this a little funny because I'm a pretty easy-going, open-book sort of person. It is clear that society has taught me not to talk about some things, though this book might change that a bit. Now I'm a bit more aware that other people are thinking like I do. Wifey can't quite be called a Harlequin romance novel, but it can probably still be classified as trash. In other words, perfect summer reading. I've already read half of it.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

A Clean, Well-Lighted Place

This moring I read Ernest Hemingway's short story A Clean, Well-Lighted Place. This is a very short story- only a few pages long. As is typical of Hemingway's work the meat of the story is not in what is said, but in the questions and thoughts that are raised in the reader. For me this particular story bred thoughts of aging and my own position in the arch of maturity.

Hemingway's story opens with an old man drinking in a cafe late at night. He likes the cafe at night because it is quiet. The majority of the story is a conversation about the old man that two waiters have, one young and the other older. The younger waiter simply wants the old man to leave so that he can close up the cafe and go home to bed. The older waiter is far more empathetic with the old man. He is concerned about the lonely life the old man lives and the fact that he had tried to kill himself the week before and he understands why the old man stays late in the clean, comfortable cafe. The young waiter doesn't think of the man as being a person, instead he only sees the old man as being a hinderance to his happiness. The older waiter seems to see himself as being not too terribly distant from the position of the old man.

I was reminded of the seven ages of man speech in Shakespeare's As You Like It. The melancholy Jaques maps out seven stages of life, each having its own distinct characteristics. While I don't think that you can delineate the stages of life as clearly as Jaques does, I do believe that they exist and I see these stages of life being lived by the people I know. I think A Clean, Well-Lighted Place reveals the idea that people are more apt to understand those who are in a stage that is close to their own. I, myself, have been accused, by my younger sister, of "crossing over" to adulthood. While this is true in some respects I don't think I've completely left my younger years behind. I remember thinking the way those who are younger than me do, but I very much enjoy my, perhaps, more mature way of thinking.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Design... Revise... Actualize...

I feel hopeful today. I have a lot of work to do to get my life in order. I'm mostly a complete mess and I'm not sure why that is. I have "a lot of potential" that I just don't ever seem to get around to using.

Now, how to go about this? Should I make a plan and set goals for myself? Should I hire someone(or find a volunteer) to sort of coach me into being a responsible adult and all that rot? Or should I just jump in with both feet and get to it? I personally like the third option best.

In any case, I feel hopeful today.